Author: Joey Dorriety
Source: download
How to really get your goals without all that needless stress!!!
During high school I remember that I would consistently yell this at my mom when she said that you have to set goals and reach for them to do anything in life. My mom was always very concerned with my future because she wanted the best for my siblings and myself. She wanted us to be able to live a good life and not have to struggle so hard like she has had to. I didn't understand it at the time, but it was one of the best things she could have done for us, but I just didn't care to put any effort into anything; especially something that I couldn't see instant results from and could hold my A.D.D. at bay for more than a few minutes.
Well one day I got cornered and was "asked" (that's code for being about 10 seconds away from getting drop kicked) to decide what I wanted to do for my life and how I planned on getting there. I wondered slowly to my bedroom and got a pen and paper out and wrote down my only goal and how I was going to get it. I was so focused on this one goal that I made myself believe it. I then took the paper to my mother and presented it like the key to the universe was in her hands at that moment.
My goal: get rich
How to achieve this goal: marry rich
After about ten minutes of laughter at my well thought of plan, my mom looked at me with all the intensity that I had for this plan and said, "I will need you to have a back up plan just in case this one doesn't work out. Good job on the being focused though!"
I was crushed. I don't want a back up plan, I want that one to work out. I decided just to humor my mom, I would come up with an ingenious plan that would have me retired before I graduated high school and living a movie star's life by the time I was 19 so that I could date all of the girls from the movies. I got excited at the, last minute weekend breaks, thought of all this cool stuff coming to me right now. I went to work on my master plan that would make me a trillionaire in about a year.
I think that somewhere during my planning period that I lost my mind because I put some things on that list that later turned out to be well outside the realm of reality even for a trillionaire. So after a few hours of careful plotting and planning, I returned to my mom and gave it to her to go over that night and the next morning because I was going to sleep - too much mental work for one day.
So after my normal weekend festivities, I came home the next night with a copy of my goal list on the fridge with one sentence written on it with red ink. It caught me off guard because of what it said. My mom wrote in bright red ink in huge letters, "GREAT…PUT IT INTO ACTION!"
The next morning, I began my rocket launch style rise to fame and fortune with my super detailed plan and how I was going to do it. After about 15 minutes, I decided that my first step would take more than one day to do; it was a big first step, so I would start on it next weekend. I stayed excited all week long and was itching for the weekend to get here.
Finally the weekend arrived and I began my full frontal assault on life. I worked and did the thing that was my first step, but it did not turn out like I thought it should have. I was quickly becoming frustrated and didn't understand why my plan wasn't working. All the work I put in and the first step just would be finished in my "time schedule for my goals." When you put all of your effort and time into one step and it doesn't happen or get completed for one reason or another, you get extremely frustrated especially if you believe in that plan.
I decided it was best to take a video game break and come back to it later. Well that lasted about a week. The next weekend I still couldn't get that first step fully completed. I had some small things related get done, but not the step. I figured that I would just keep plugging along and it would happen. Well no, that didn't happen. I began to start believing like everyone else I knew thought. To the average person, goal setting is something that those "rich" people do because they have all the time in the world to do that kind of stuff or maybe it is that most people think that they have absolutely no control over what happens in their life and just try not to be taken under by all of the bad things that can happen. I couldn't get it to work no matter what I did. When frustration gets to a certain point, you give up. That is exactly what I did then.
Time passed and my mom watched and waited until the time limit on the goal was over to even mention the project. She wanted to make sure that I would be receptive to any advice she had for me. After I was fully broken in with frustration and negativity, my mom asked where my new car was. The venting began! I told her how it all was crap and didn't work and I am going back to the first plan. After about two hours of this and her calming me down, she asked me if I would like for her to show me exactly what I had done wrong and how to make it right.
My mom with her wisdom and experience looked at my plan again. She asked how many steps have I gotten done. With a little shame I said I was still on number one. I told her all that I had done and yet not gotten the first step done. Without missing a step, she said that the reason I hadn't finished step one of the plan was because instead of setting up one goal with steps, I had set many goals that would lead up to one giant goal.
I didn't understand exactly. I asked what she meant and then understood all of my problems after that answer was given. My mother explained that my first step needed to be broken down into many smaller mini-steps that would lead to the larger first step being completed. The first step was so big that it would instantly overwhelm you and cause all kinds of negative feelings about the whole process. That easily leads to procrastination and never even finishing the first step.
I then divided the first step into many little steps that would get it done after a little time. I still didn't feel great about all of the steps. Some still seemed a little overwhelming and I would just procrastinate on that step for a while.
The secret to getting over any step in any goal that is giving you problems is to divide it into even smaller steps until you don't have any negative feelings about getting that step done. If you aren't worried about getting to that step, you will go through it with ease, but if it instills any fear or frustration, you need to divide it more.
It is always better to be taking small steps toward your goals than to be putting off taking a larger step to it. Always be moving toward your goals-NO MATTER HOW SMALL THE STEP!! It might take a little longer than you originally planned, but it will happen.
So as time went by and with a little advice along the way, I completed that goal and many more with less struggle and frustration than most people get driving to work everyday.
Take this advice to heart and go out there and get everything you want out of this life.
Best Wishes,
Joey Dorriety
Joey Dorriety is an expert on mental tactics and techniques to dramatically enhance both your bank account and your well-being. For a extreme leap in both your finances and your success, visit his site www.nuclearsuccesssystem.com for the latest information in the field.
